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Archive for April, 2010

Letting Go

There are just so many things that I have to let go. My past and some unpleasant memories. Consequence of not being able to let go: They will come haunting me one by one someday. How am I able to do it? I gotta surrender them to God and that’s the only thing I can do. No longer wanna let those things dwell in my head and keep replaying like a cassette. Well, I’m  gonna trust in You Lord. Your plans and will for me. I don’t know what’s best for me but You know very well. Lord I pray that You’ll fill this emptiness in  me. Thanks You Lord!!

Trust. What is it? It had failed me for so many times. I’ve lost my trust in humans, lost my confidence in them. So many hurts. Why does relationships fade away so easily? Shouldn’t it last and develop for at least some friendships? It’s a give and take process. What people say may not reflect in  their actions. It’s so complicated. I just wanna have simplicity. Simple thoughts, simple perspective and simple heart. With simplicity, I’ll not have so much worries.

God, You show me the way and lead me.

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Everything’s changed. That had been what I always feared of and it happened. This feeling isn’t good at all but I’ve got no choice but to accept the fact that it is right before my eyes.

God, my future is in your hands. If this is part of your plan for me, I’ll accept it willingly. However, I’ll continue praying for I know that I have yet to discover what I’m looking for.

I know that the path ahead of me is going to be rocky and tough but Lord, I wanna go through it with you.

Praying…

I don’t wanna be trapped in this cycle.

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Weak yet Strong

I’m feeling really weak now, PHYSICALLY, however, there is this POWER and STRENGTH within me that is sustaining me right now. Yes, it’s GOD. I’m tapping on His strength to survive this ordeal. Being sick is not an excuse for me to skip quiet time or to compromise on my walk with God. I’ll continue to serve and to serve fervently.:)

Yup, and I really wanna thank a few people in my lives which God had placed to love me, to care for me and to encourage me. You know who you  are. 😉 Special thanks to MISHA for sending me to my door step ytd night. Really felt loved and I appreciate it a lot!

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Habit Of Fasting

I’m gonna start on a frequent fast for my spiritual growth and for myself to be connected to the HS. So do hold me accountable and keep watch over me! 😀

Sweet Drinks (5Apr-25Apr) : Spritual life, connected to HS, not be spiritually dry.

Ice Cream (5Apr-30Apr) : Discipline to study, revise and complete my homework.

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Many times, we’re easily angered by things happening around us and to us. However, have we ever wondered what’s the root of all these problems? 

God showed me light in this area and I found out that every time we’re pissed or frustrated over something, it’s part of the devil’s plan to bring us away from God and from the righteousness that we should have. 

Why? It isn’t a person’s fault to anger you all of a sudden. They may not know how you’re feeling or what’s happening within you. We just flare up at someone oblivious about what’s going on in us for no reason. We got to pause and think. If we are easily affected by the situations in our lives, well, what I can say is you’re letting the devil controlling your life more instead of God. We got to calm down and think. 

For my situation, I always get impatient when I cannot get the things I want to do done. For instance, my qt. I do it in my room but sometimes, my aunt will just barge in or keep knocking on the door wanting to come in. Well,  in the past, I will just shout at them or give them cold stares, but now, I would open the door, calm myself down and let them do whatever they want before they leave. 

I saw deeper within rather than the surface fact which is they barge in and  intrude my time with God. I saw that they don’t know the importance of qt to me and if they don’t know, they will continue disrupting me. So I got to put myself into their shoes too, not just being self-centred. 

God also kept reminding me of this: A righteous heart, blameless walk and clean hands. 

A lot of times, we wonder why we don’t hear from God or even feel his presence and we blame it on him(because we think that we’ve tried hard on seeking him). Have we ever blamed ourselves? If your answer is no, you should. Often times, we aren’t aware that the problem lies within us. If we’re not righteous, blameless and pure, how can we enter into God’s presence? If our minds are always filled with evil thoughts, and lives filled with wrongdoings, it displeases God and we’re not fit to enter into his courts. Therefore, we got to seek him and be cleansed before we can step into his presence. As I’m reading Psalms now, God showed me a lot about this area. 

Psalms 15: 

1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
       Who may live on your holy hill? 

 2 He whose walk is blameless
       and who does what is righteous,
       who speaks the truth from his heart 

 3 and has no slander on his tongue,
       who does his neighbor no wrong
       and casts no slur on his fellowman, 

 4 who despises a vile man
       but honors those who fear the LORD,
       who keeps his oath
       even when it hurts, 

 5 who lends his money without usury
       and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
       He who does these things
       will never be shaken. 

Psalms 18: 20-26: 

 20 The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness;
       according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.

 21 For I have kept the ways of the LORD;
       I have not done evil by turning from my God.

 22 All his laws are before me;
       I have not turned away from his decrees.

 23 I have been blameless before him
       and have kept myself from sin.

 24 The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness,
       according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight.

 25 To the faithful you show yourself faithful,
       to the blameless you show yourself blameless,

 26 to the pure you show yourself pure,
       but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.  

From these 2 Psalms, we can clearly see what God wants to see in us before we enter into His kingdom.

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